I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
