The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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