Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
