he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
