Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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