Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
