id be glad to
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize