I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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