4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
