Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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