Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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