a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize