direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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