Can i not drive my cunt home
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
