Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
