what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
