Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There's always time for handjobs
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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