I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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