Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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