All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
