I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
