My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
