I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
