My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize