Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
