sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
