I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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