I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
