my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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