I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
