Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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