glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We were destined to go to rehab together
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
