Whod you bang
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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