I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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