I accidentally burped into my bong.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
