Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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