his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize