a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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