no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
