Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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