Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize