What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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