It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
