should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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