I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize