You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
