We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
