After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
