Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize