Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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