I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
