the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
