I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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