She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize