the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
