You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
